Foreign Accents Cause Psychological Harm

1 minute read. Created January 13 2022, last edited March 9 2024.

In this episode: The cadence and tonality of Indian accents, along with other foreign accents, is intonated in a way that induces stress in a normal anglophone.

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You’re chilling in a meeting when another participant speaks up. This participant’s cadence is very high, the gap between sentences is short, and the speech is pitched in a sawtooth wave, grating at the psyche.

Is it an emergency situation? No! They’re simply explaining a feature, as simple as can be, relaxed and happy. For other participants, though, these features of speech are causing a subtle gnawing at the gut, as danger pheromones are released and their lizard brains prepare for combat.

This is one of the livable but unfortunate realities of working with foreigners. Your immune system and sanity will slowly be ground away. Slowly you will gain a sort of resistance as your body learns to recognize that this phenomenon poses no real danger, but the sad fact is:

Listening to Indian accents is fucking awful.

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